"He sees you when you're sleeping," the song says. "He knows when you're awake.  He knows if you've been bad or good."

But there are problems with this creed.  Let's take Santa seeing me while I'm sleeping.  If that's true, why doesn't he do something to wake me up when my alarm clock doesn't go off ?

And what, exactly, are the criteria for "naughty" and "nice?"  Confessed criminals get gifts while some little boys and girls go without Teletubbies.  Obviously, someone as wonderful as this Santa guy wouldn't let any of this happen.  

Next, let's take the North Pole, supposed headquarters for The Big Red One.  The Pole's within the territory of Canada, yet no reindeer (magic or otherwise) are registered to anyone fitting Santa's description.  Certainly he would violate his own criteria for being "nice" if he owned reindeer illegally. 

Another obvious "naughtiness" would be employing thousands of elves without paying any taxes for them.  Perhaps Santa has a great retirement and health plan, but that still wouldn't free him from his obligations to the Canadian government.

I've checked the records on this side of the border, too, and there's no record of an S. Claus or K. Kringle declaring he was entering the country with gifts of any amount on December 24th, 1998.

In short, leaving cookies and milk out on Christmas Eve is just silly.  Personally, until I get that red Schwinn Stingray I asked Santa for when I was eight, I won't believe he exists.